I am getting old. Small squabble seems so unnecessary now. War has raved these lands for a long time now, and I see no end to it. This winter I rode on guard duty and more than anything using words and avoiding conflict seems to be the better choice in many situations. I know that I am good with words but now it seems that I have even surprised myself.
The men are tired. The men are frustrated. They are poor and their families are starving. Conflict lies around every corner and one wrong word throws an entire company over the edge and sets off infighting. This happened during the winter. Two of the younger knights one of house Ravenfield and house Tarren got into an argument about the Saxons. One argued to a more proactive and offensive stance, the other a more careful and defensive position. The discussion in itself isn’t a problem but it went downhill quickly.
It’s a good thing to be a senior knight, for whatever happens the younger generation tend to listen to your council, and I am truly getting old. I managed to get the to hot heads to separate with some well-chosen words but I don’t believe that conflict is over yet. It still comes back to me now as I can do nothing but lie in my bed. Damn the Hillfort cough.
It is a blessing that I took the time to learn to read and write. As I focus on breathing and not moving I remember the philosophers’ words that I learnt when I was still young. I take the time to read, sir Maelgwyn have been kind enough to lend me one of his books during these dark days.
I know that the only thing I can do is wait, and pray that my health return to me. Marwth men don’t die in battle so I expect that illness will eventually take me, or maybe I’ll be lucky like sir Victus and die quickly. But, if I live through this there are things that I can do, things that I want to do. I feel worthless lying here while the storms rip the tiles of the roof.
Hindon has never seen worse shape, and there is nothing I can do to help it. There is no money to spend, unless I dig up the gold, and that seems to be a very bad idea with all the raids going on. However bad the situation is our family strangely still puts its’ trust in me, places even more responsibility in my lap. Now I am responsible for managing three lots of land for a young boy on Lady Nest’s side.
I understand they have heard that I am a honourable knight, and will do the best I can for it, but I fear that there isn’t much I can do. For now I think I just might have to focus on breathing, like all of Salisbury. We try to keep our head above the water so that we do not drown. And then we pray for the rain to stop falling.