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Meneri cried all the time. Whenever he saw her, her eyes filled with water and her lower lip trembled. Her crying turned her scars an ugly inflamed red. He didn’t know what to do. Did the woman actually want to miscarry and become barren? He tried his best, spoke what he thought was comforting words, hugged her under the furs at night, saw to it that her needs were met as far as he could understand them. When it became unbearable he fled to [[Ludwell]] village, to Anwyn. With her that heavy stone in his stomach seemed to vanish. Except that she, too, was damned irritable of late. Her playful teasing had turned to stinging barbs that dug into his self-esteem. But mostly being with her was the best he’d ever felt. He felt perpetually confused, torn this way and that by these two women he suddenly had to share his life with. He also felt guilty, like a failure, for not being able to secure the Anarawd legacy, for not being able to show neither his wife nor the love of his heart the physical affection that was proper. He wasn’t even sure what they wanted from him, or what was expected of him as a husband or lover. That latter part was a mire of perplexion and insecurity. Fortunately, as the winter nights turned long and cold and sent them to their furs earlier each evening, Anwyns impatience turned to initiative and invention. It turned out that there were many ways to please a woman that had nothing to do with begetting children. He had no idea where she had learned of such things, but was happy that she had. [[Gamond]] had always heard other men speak of the conquest of women, a subject of endless bragging and fascination for most, and one that he had always found utterly incomprehensible. The thought of most of the acts his peers at [[Vagon]] had described at lurid length during his time as a squire had seemed nonsensical and had held no allure for him. Until now, until Anwyn. He suddenly understood, and wanted it. More embarrassing was that his wife aroused no such interest in him, none. Desperation at her silent accusations and fruitless attempts to elicit such reactions from him drove [[Gamond]] to try some of the tricks he’d learned. Though Meneri was hesitant and dismissive at first, as the months dragged on she, too, found release in his company. That was worth the physical chore, as interesting to him as digging ditches or running errands as a squire. Feigning interest and involvement became easier and easier. Harder to reconcile was the awkward silences around his wife compared to the lively discussions and heartfelt companionship between him and Anwyn. That would take work. As spring slowly loosened the grip winter held on [[Ludwell]], [[Gamond]] began to train Anwyn in earnest. A winter of good and plentiful food, long runs in the snow and wrestling had hardened them both, but had done wonders for her. She no longer ate like a starving wolf, but as a woman who pushed herself to the limits of her endurance daily. They had a sparring circle cleared of snow every morning, and fought for two hours a day as the snow fell anew, melted, returned, gave way to sucking mud and finally dried, giving way to the green sprouts of spring. As the [[horses]] were let into the fields, stretching their legs and prancing out to freedom, [[Gamond]] took Anwyn to watch them run. When he gave her a saddle, laughing at her girlish delight at the surprise, and smiling watched her care for her new horse for the first time, he felt truly happy. She called it Longshanks. He circled left around the practice ring, turning to angle his [[shield]] at her. She’d gotten much better at covering for his advantage in reach, tucking her body behind her [[shield]] and moving in unpredictable patterns. Still, her position was a difficult one. The crown of her head barely crested his sternum, and such reach was extremely difficult to overcome. Whenever she stepped close, she had to be ready to be struck well before she ever had the chance to strike a blow. He was watching her too closely. That was dangerous, it was easy to be distracted by her. She shifted her weight to her forward foot, telegraphing her step, and lunged. His blade struck her [[shield]], and though he always held back, it was enough to stagger her and throw her off her [[mark]]. Her practice ladle glanced off his [[shield]], and he twisted his body so she stumbled past him, delivering a stinging blow to the back of her rump with the flat of his blade. She yelled, annoyed and hurt, and spun to face him, furious. He laughed, stuck out his tongue at her. “What, the princess can’t take a hit?” Her fury shifted to mirth, and she grinned, rubbing her backside with the back of her hand. “You just wait, I’ll paddle your backside later” He was a confused, frowning. She wouldn’t do that, would she? Oh, he’d dropped his guard, thinking, cursed woman! Her ladle flashed in past his dropped [[shield]], and he stumbled back with bruised ribs. Sneaky she-wolf. She was smirking at him. Smirking! The nerve of that girl! They started circling again. “When we go to Sarum for Easter, will you come?” She watched him with her odd eyes, he could almost never tell what she was thinking. “What do you mean?” “I mean, will you ride with me? With us?” “To the city? I.,. yes!” She laughed suddenly, delight in the curve of her mouth. Then a sharp twist downwards “What about your wife?” He sighed, shaking his head “She’ll manage. We’ll manage. We’ll just have to respect her sensibilities as far as possible whenever she is around. She knows already, she has to, but she’s never said anything. ” She thought it over for several exchanges, blows ringing off shields, feet shifting. [[Gamond]] stepped back, lowered his [[weapons]] as a gesture of peace, and she did the same. He walked to her, hugging her close. “Both our lives are given to war and death. One or both of us could die at any time, and we probably won’t grow old. I want to spend what time I have with you, as much as I can. Will you share my life with me?” She looked up at him, tilting her chin in that adorable way of hers. He thought her eyes might be wet, but he wasn’t sure. “Yes”. He smiled and kissed her. “You’re good, much better than you were.” She snorted and gave his ribs a sharp jab with her fist, right where she bruised him before. He grunted. “I’m ready”. “No” he said “You’re not. Promise me you will choose your fights with care and not throw yourself into danger recklessly until I say you’re ready?” She nodded, and they stayed in that close embrace for a time enjoying each other’s company.
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