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I knew that he would die, but I never imagined that it would be this way. I knew he had troubles with his memories, but I never imagined that he might have lied about them. Who was he? Was he a man who hid his feelings and intentions so well that none suspected his treachery? And what treachery… Not only to this land, to his friends and his [[lady]]. The greatest of treachery was to his family, towards me, his wife. “The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing.” Yes. That is truly how it has been. I had not understood those words fully until [[Brynach]] told me what [[Ennis]] had done. His fists bloody, a wild expression on his face. I know he liked me, [[Brynach]] liked me more than his uncle, but he doesn’t love me and he has already shown that I can rely on no support from him. Yet it is not me I worry for, it is my son. I know he already starts to look like his father, and though [[Brynach]] is forgiving I wonder how much mercy he has for the spawn of [[Ennis]] the cutthroat. I loved him. For a time at least I loved him. We had good years. He made bad decisions that made me turn more to our children. None the less he was my companion in this strange land, with no civilization to speak off, no cities, no large markets, just fields and [[Saxons]]. Should I hate him now? “False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.” Was he evil? Truly evil? If not, how could he have done what he did? Nothing else could have mattered as he spilled [[Ellen|Lady Ellen]]’s blood. Whatever he saw, whatever drove him, neither our children nor I could have meant anything. His life must have been worthless, forfeit, null. Couldn’t he have died in 498? If he had, he wouldn’t have left me this mess, this terrible future for Virgil. Why didn’t he die earlier? If he had died, would he still have been [[Ennis]] the Betrayer? Is a man who performs treachery a betrayer even if he dies before he performs the deed? I am rambling. This is not what I need to write. I think that [[Brynach]] did the right thing when he declared that Ennis’ act is one that the Marwth family despises. None the less it hurts me, in so many ways. What am I to do? I have asked myself this question over and over and found many answers but I have taken no decision. Or maybe I have. At least I’m starting to see a few roads for Virgil and myself.
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